LifE is fuLL Of fun.. :)

Would you rather get up early or sleep late?

2010-11-25T03:41:00.003-08:00

GET UP EARLY...

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2010-11-25T03:41:00.001-08:00

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/mhinekizzer

e x c u s e s

2010-11-16T22:25:00.000-08:00

I swear, I hate it when people make excuses for themselves. You hear it all the time; the idea of someone looking for someone or something else to blame when they suffer from various shortcomings in their lives. It’s like they live for the idea that their world sucks simply because of something else.

It’s like some sort of equation. X sucks in your life because of Y and Z. They’re so quick to point their finger and look for something to be the reason for their shortcomings. But what they fail to realize is that they fucked up themselves; that their world sucks because of bad decisions on their part.

Of course there are circumstances when the man was out to get you for some reason or another or your circumstances were shitty to begin with. But the occurrence of that is very few and far between. To be honest, I’m going to say that a good.

Sometimes, people need to man up and own up to their mistakes. Everything’s fixable, it’s whether or not you are willing to put the effort to fix what’s wrong with you.

Oh, and when I say sometimes, I mean all the time. I’m just saying.

For You

2009-08-10T05:01:00.000-07:00

You still always the same
There is no one like you
When I look at you
I realize how much I love you

When I see you
When i look into your eyes
I can see into your soul.

When you hold me
You make me tremble
When you kiss me
It feels like I’m in heaven.

With you by my side
There is nothing I can’t beat
Let me thank you for all
You have done for me.
To be thankful
For the way you love me.

Encrypted Confession

2009-08-10T05:00:00.001-07:00

Till long time ago
I had no identity
my confessions
were encrypted
and I was nobody
I was still alone
I am not anymore
but at times
I too feel radoxed and tired
As I lose my enigma
and move beyond Paradigm
I feel rushed and tempted.

You gave me everything.

2009-08-10T04:58:00.001-07:00

Thankyou for being you
Thankyou for showing me more then i knew.
Thankyou for making songs about me
Thankyou for helping me to see
All that this life can be.
Thankyou for being you
Thankyou for making me want to say i do.
Thankyou for giving me everything
I have everything...
And everything is YOU.

1st tym i ever saw her face

2009-08-10T04:56:00.004-07:00

i dont believe in love at first Sight until i saw this girl one night

i try to forget her but it seems that i cant
coz its almost two o'clock of the morring

and still i cant sleep coz she's like

a music that keeps playing in my head

she looks like an angel that comes from above
and a flowers that blooms in spring

and have the most beautiful lips as red an apple.

how could i forget her? if she when i sleep
still hunting me.

in my dream you smile at me and touch my face

your lips meet my lips.then i suddenly hear

your voice telling me that you love me.

then i open my eyes wide like an owl how

could i forget those cute eyes it's like a diamond in the sky.

but still it's just a dream

so i whent back to the place where i first
saw her god answer my prayer coz i i saw her sitting under a tree.

but....i noticed that she's not alone she have her boyfriend sitting next to her and kissing her

it hurts at first but...then i realize that god use her sa an instrument to make me realize
that first love is real

thats why i wrote this poem so i can thank you
for openning my eyes and my heart that love at first sight is true

Did I tell you

2009-08-10T04:56:00.003-07:00

Did I Tell You?

Did I tell you that I love you?
So much more than I can say
You chase away the darkness
And bring sunshine to my day

Did I tell you that I need you?
Like the flowers need the rain
I feel your love flow through me
Like blood flows through a vein

Did I tell you that I miss you?
On the days when you're not there
I need your love to guide me
For you, so much I care

Did I tell you that I want you?
And how much you mean to me
My love could fill an ocean
It stretches far beyond the sea

Love is the language of my heart
And every single day it grows
When you shower me with love
My heart blooms just like a rose

Love...Do I Belong??

2009-08-10T04:56:00.001-07:00

Tear drops from my face falls into the palms of my hands
I thought he was my true friend
Until I fell for him and made him my man
Trust is no longer a factor 'cause all you do is lie to me
I want to let you go as a man but not as a friend so I cry myself to sleep
Love, trust, and respect is what I had for you threw it all
The love is still there
The trust is dead
and respect is at the door broken down so small
If we would have just been friends
would it had been so different?
I've built my emotional walls back up
My heart has to keep it's distances
I'm tired of crying over you
and feeling so confused
My friends tell me
"Now girl you already know what you need to do"
But I can't let him go
My heart says We're still not threw
I'm torn between the lies and the truth
And yet I still want to be with you
If you were me what would you do?
When we're together your sweet, compassionate, and far beyond cute.. you seem so sincer and true
But when we're away everyone has so much to say about you and what you do
I can't help but be there threw the anger, hurt and pain that you go threw
But all I ask is if you'll be here for me too
The tears that I shed over you when I feel that you just don't care
Only hurts so much because when you need me I'm there
And so I sit outside wondering if your home
And if your home are you alone
The rumors calculate in my brain with a steady tone and it's driving me Insane I don't know were my heart belongs
you will have to see on your own because one day I'll be gone
and then I wont have to worry bout the lies and cry as my heart feels paralyzed because I'll be movin on........
But then I think back and doubt if I'm really that strong
why have I let people play with my mind this long
and I still haven't moved on
Maybe because no matter what we go threw
I stay because I finally know
with you is were I belong........

Letting Go

2009-08-10T04:48:00.000-07:00

I miss you
Since you’ve gone away
Part of me is missing
I feel it as I lay

My head down on my pillow
So soft and comforting
But it doesn’t ease the pain
My heart is still hurting

It aches to see you
One last time
To show how much I love you
Yet, I know this is a crime

To want to bring you back
To this hope forsaken land
For suffer, hurt, and pain
In leu of God’s Heaven

I can’t help
But to think about the world
You tried to protect me from
When I was a young girl

Sometimes I felt resentment
But I wanted you to see
I understand your actions
You did what you did for me

To guide me
Along my journey in life
When no one else was there
To help me cope with strife

You taught me to be strong
And to be aware
Of people’s bad intentions
Their ability to be unfair

I am today
Who I want to be
I don’t take shit from no one
Are you proud of me?

I’m not the sweet defenseless girl
I started out to be
You made me so much braver
Well, that and poverty

I’m as hard as a rock now
Maybe a little too so
But I wouldn’t trade it for anything
I wanted you to know

I will cherish you
And the memories that I have
Of growing up together
All the good and bad

They make us who we are
And at times they make me laugh
Like, “Hey, Micheal, look at me!”
While I was falling on my ass

You will always be with me
You notice, I got a tattoo?!
I didn’t feel the pain
I was thinking of you

My children will hear all about you
The funniest guy ever known
They’ll be grabbing their sides from the stories
Then, I will slip away alone

To shed tears for you
Which I’m sure will happen at times
To remember our time together
And read these heart-felt rhymes

I have accepted that you’re gone now
And I have to set you free
No more haunting my dreams
Rest peacefully

I would still love your visits, though
Every now and then
You are part of my life
And will be to my end.

I have to let go, so………..I’m letting you go.

A Soft Sweet Kiss

2009-08-10T04:46:00.000-07:00

As I stare at the stars
I think for a while
Of the day our love began
And it makes me smile
The feeling of love
A soft sweet kiss
Always on my mind
Impossible to resist
You gaze into my eyes
Your innocence shared
You gave yourself to me
And showed me you cared
Now I think of today
All the things I’ve missed
They simply don’t compare
To that soft sweet kiss
I need you by my side
Everyday my love will prove
That you belong here with me
Your whole life through
Just lean into me
Show me that you miss
The love that started
With that soft sweet kiss

My Special Someone

2009-08-10T04:44:00.000-07:00

I bet you didn't know
That you just passed my mind.
You do this so many times each day
Since a guy like you is so hard to find.

I saw a falling star
Just the other day
For I sat there and thought
But only had one thing to say.

The wish I just got
I really do not need.
Because the only wish I want
Is a wish I have already received?

Some might even say
That I'm in another place
Every time I think of how you look
And that smile on your face.

To conclude the way I feel
About all the things you do
You are that special someone.
You're like a dream come true.

Dedication

a silent love..

2009-08-10T04:43:00.000-07:00

A Silent Love

From the very Begining, the girl's family objected strongly on her dating this guy. Saying that it has got to do with family background & that the girl will have to suffer for the rest of her life if she were to be with him.

Due to family's pressure, the couple quarrel very often. Though the girl love the guy deeply, but she always ask him: "How deep is your love for me?"

As the guy is not good with his words, this often cause the girl to be very upset. With that & the family's pressure, the girl often vent her anger on him. As for him, he only endure it in silence.

After a couple of years, the guy finally graduated & decided to further his studies in overseas. Before leaving, he proposed to the girl: "I'm not very good with words. But all I know is that I love you. If you allow me, I will take care of you for the rest of my life. As for your family, I'll try my best to talk them round. Will you marry me?"

The girl agreed, & with the guy's determination, the family finally gave in & agreed to let them get married. So before he leave, they got engaged.

The girl went out to the working society, whereas the guy was overseas, continuing his studies. They sent their love through emails & phone calls. Though it's hard, but both never thought of giving up.

One day, while the girl was on her way to work, she was knocked down by a car that lost control. When she woke up, she saw her parents beside her bed. She realised that she was badly injured. Seeing her mum crying, she wanted to comfort her. But she realized that all that could come out of her mouth was just a sigh. She has lost her voice......

The doctors says that the impact on her brain has caused her to lose her voice. Listening to her parents' comfort, but with nothing coming out from her, she broke down.

During the stay in hospital, besides silence cry,.....it's still just silence cry that companied her. Upon reaching home, everything seems to be the same. Except for the ringing tone of the phone. Which pierced into her heart everytime it rang. She does not wish to let the guy know. & not wanting to be a burden to him, she wrote a letter to him saying that she does not wish to wait any longer.

With that, she sent the ring back to him. In return, the guy sent millions & millions of reply, and countless of phonecalls,.. all the girl could do, besides crying, is still crying....

The parents decided to move away, hoping that she could eventually forget everything & be happy.

With a new environment, the girl learn sign language & started a new life. Telling herself everyday that she must forget the guy. One day, her friend came & told her that he's back. She asked her friend not to let him know what happened to her. Since then, there wasn't anymore news of him.

A year has passed & her friend came with an envelope, containing an invitation card for the guy's wedding. The girl was shattered. When she open the letter, she saw her name in it instead.

When she was about to ask her friend what's going on, she saw the guy standing in front of her. He used sign language telling her "I've spent a year's time to learn sign language. Just to let you know that I've not forgotten our promise. Let me have the chance to be your voice. I Love You. With that, he slipped the ring back into her finger. The girl finally smiled.

let them be little...

2009-08-08T06:22:00.000-07:00

I can remember when you fit in the
palm of my hand,
Felt so good in it, no bigger than a
minute;
How it amazes me, you're changing with
every blink
Faster than a flower blooms, they grow
up all too soon ...

So, let them be little, 'cause they're
only that way for a while;
Give them hope, give them praise, give
them love every day;
Let them cry, let them giggle, let
them sleep in the middle,
Oh, just let them be little ...

I've never felt so much in one little
tender touch;
I live for those kisses, prayers and
your wishes;
Now that you're teaching me things
only a child can see,
Every night while we're on our knees,
all I ask is please ...

Let them be little, 'cause they're
only that way for a while;
Give them hope, give them praise, give
them love every day;
Let them cry, let them giggle, let
them sleep in the middle,
Oh, just let them be little ...

So innocent, a precious soul, you turn
around
It's time to let them go ...

Let them be little ...

love for 100 days

2009-05-16T04:48:00.001-07:00

Love For 100 Days

Message: Peter and Tina are sitting in the park doing nothing, but just gazing into the sky, while all their friends are having fun with their beloved half.
Tina: I’m so bored. Just wish I have a boyfriend now to spend time with.
Peter: I guess we’re the only leftovers. We’re the only person who isn’t with a date now.
(both sigh n silence for a while)
Tina: I think I have a good idea. Lets play a game
Peter: Eh? What game?
Tina: Eem..It’s quite simple. You be my boyfriend for 100 days and I’ll be your girlfriend for 100 days. what do you think?
Peter: Oookay..Anyway I don’t have any plan for the next few months.
Tina: You sound like you aren’t looking forward to it at all. Cheer up. Today will be our first day and our first date. Where should we go?
Peter: What about a movie? I heard that there is a really great movie in theater now.
Tina: Seems like I don’t have any better idea than this. Lets move. (went to watch their movies and sent each other home)

Day 2:
Peter and Tina went to a concert together, and Peter bought Tina a keychain with a star.

Day 3:
They went shopping together for a friend’s birthday present. Share an ice-cream together and hugged each other for the first time.

Day 7:

Peter drove Tina up onto a mountain and they watch the sunset together. When the night came and the moon glowed, they said sat on the grass gazing at the stars together. A meteor passed by. Tina mumbled something.

Day 25:
Spend time at a themepark and got onto rollercoasters, and ate hotdogs and cotton candy. Peter and Tina got in the haunted house and Tina grabbed someone’s hand instead of Peter’s hand by accident. They laughed together
for a while.

Day 67:
They drove pass a circus and decided to get in to watch the show. The midget asked Tina to play a part as his assistant in the magic show. Went around to see other entertainments around after the show. Came to a fortune teller and she just said “Treasure every moment from now on” and a tear rolled down the fortune teller’s cheek.

Day 84:
Tina suggested that they go to the beach. The beach wasn’t so crowded that day. They have their first kiss with each other just as the sun is setting.

Day 99:
They decided to have a simple day and is deciding to have a walk around the city. They sits down onto a bench.

1:23 pm
Tina: I’m thirsty. Lets rest for a while first.
Peter: Wait here while I go buy some drinks. What would you like?
Tina: Eem…Apple juice will be just fine.
1:43 pm
Tina waiting for about 20 minutes and Peter havent return. Then someone walked up to her.
Stranger: Is your name Tina?
Tina: Yes, and may I help you?
Stranger: Just now down there on the street a drunk driver has crashed into a guy. I think its your friend.
Tina ran over to the spot with the stranger and sees Peter lying on the floor with blood over his face and her apple juice still in his hands. The ambulance came and she went to the hospital with Peter. Tina sat outside the emergency room for five and a half hours. The doctor came out, and he sigh.

11:51 pm
Doctor: I’m sorry, but we did the best we could. He is still breathing now but God would take him away from us very soon. We found this letter inside his pocket.

The doctor hands over the letter to Tina and she goes into the room to see Peter. He look weak but peaceful. Tina read the letter and then she burst into tears. Here is what the letter said.

Tina,
Our 100 days is almost over. I had fun with you during all these days. Although you may be greedy sometimes and less thoughtful, but these all brought happiness into my life. I have realize that you are a really cute girl and blamed myself for never taken the time to knowing that. I have nothing much to ask for, but I just wish that we can extend the day. I want to be your boyfriend forever and wish that you can be beside me all the time. Tina, I love you.

11:58
Tina: (sobbing) Peter. Did you know what was the wish I made on the night there was a meteor. I asked God to let us last forever. We were suppose to last 100 days so Peter! You can’t leave me! I LOVE YOU, but can you come back to
me now? I love you Peter. I LOVE YOU.

As the clock struck twelve, Peter’s heart stopped beating. It was 100 days.

i tried to tell you..

2009-05-16T04:47:00.000-07:00

I tried to tell you I love you
but the words were hard to find.

I’m always thinking about you
you’re the only one on my mind.

Oh why do I act so shy forever hiding my face
I should learn to laugh and not to cry put yourself in my place.

There were times I tried to kiss you but something told me no.
You wanted me to hold you but I

kept letting you go.
I’m afraid that I am not the guy

you’ve searched for all these years.
I will kindly leave now don’t you cry

try to hold back your tears.
It’s been so long I haven’t seen you

for quite awhile
When I think of how we me met it only

brings back your smile.
I remember when I held you then and

told you we’d never part
I loved you then I love you now and

I’ll hold you in my heart.

Comments (0)

lOvE

Filed under: Uncategorized — donnalie at 3:57 am on Saturday, September 27, 2008

I thought you felt the same way.
When we held each other I prayed you would stay.

I loved the way you looked at me.
I guess it just wasn’t meant to be.

I thought you loved me undesirably.
Didn’t you know you were my everything.

You were all I thought about.
In my mind there was no doubt.

Now I see your not in love.
It wasn’t something from above.

You’re with her now and you’re happy.
I’m the one who’s mopey and sappy.

That’s ok though because if I had to pick the one to suffer
I’m glad it was me. I love you more than ever.

My love for you will never go away.
But to tell you that I would never say.

It’s so hard to let you go.
But it’s now time to move on slow.

So this is my goodbye.
My darling, my love, my only one.

This is the last time I will cry

you don't see me..

2009-05-16T04:46:00.000-07:00

I see you staring at me,
but you never truly see,

why I love you, oh, so much,
when you’re so out of touch.

Feelings that we could have shared,
you flung behind without a care.

It seems so hard to let you go,
and the process is so slow.

I don’t know whether I should stay,
and waste another day away.

I do know, though, that all this pain,
will soon drive me insane.

You don’t feel me loving you,
and you just can’t seem to get a clue.

You don’t see me cry inside,
and in you I know I can’t confide.

Yet still I find that you are blind,
to things meant to be kind.

You know nothing of my fears,
and are unaware of all my tears.

I know I really can’t deny,
things I feel as I look you in the eye.

So who will help me make it though?
Who will tell me what to do?

How come every time I see your face,
for me there’s never any space?

Maybe someday you’ll see me differently,
so until then, I’ll be waiting silently.

love messages

2009-05-16T04:44:00.000-07:00

Text messages are so hot these days aren’t they. Well, and they are excellent ways of telling people how much you love them. Or not. Read this true short love story to find out more!

My cellphone’s beeping sound woke me up one night. Used to receiving important messages only, I grabbed my cell and sleepily pushed the keys and read the message.

“Hi there! Care 2 b my txtmate?”

Not knowing who the sender was, I deleted the message right away and placed the phone on my bedside table, I tried to go back to sleep.

I had just closed my eyes when I heard the message tone again.

“Hi there, again! Care 2 b my txtmate?” again, the message said.

“Who the hell could this be asking for txtmate at the wee hours of the night?” I asked myself.

Again, without bothering to reply I deleted the message.

I was never a ‘textmaniac’ - someone who enjoys texting anyone and everyone even at the wee hours of night, not to mention during the day. My parents, who were always out of the country forced me to own a cellphone. They told me that having one was more convenient - they could monitor me even if they’re miles away.

I wanted to turn the unit off, but since my mother was fond of calling me at night, just to check if I was safe at home, I decided not to.

Just as I was to close my eyes and return to my dreamless sleep, the phone beeped again.

Same number…Such determination!

“Ply reply 2 dis msg & b an angel & save me frm dis abyss of emptiness!!!”

I never knew why, but the message struck me. I got up and pushed the keys… I just realized I was replying to the message.

“Im not an angel, n f u want som1 2 save u, m not superman… I’m just a simple prson who u wake up at dis r of my nyt!!! Nway, do I know u?” I typed.

Seconds later came the reply.

“Nope. U don’t know dis lonely soul. Nor does she know u. But I want 2 b ur frnd. I’m Mikaella Cervantes. U?”

“Just call me Julius. How’d u get my no.?” I sent back.

“Hi Julius, nice 2 meet u. Just shuffled the last two digits of mine,” she replied.

That was the first and maybe the last time I met someone over the cellphone.

We exchanged messages and learned so much about each other that night. We only said goodbye when my alarm clock rang at 5:00 AM! I had to prepare for school!

And that was also how it all started. A day would not pass without a loving and thoughtful messages from her. It was only then I had learned to appreciate text messages and become eager and excited everytime my phone beeped, hoping it would be her.

Mikaella brought out something about me that I never knew I had; I realized I could also be a romantic person… even if it’s just through text messaging.

“Keep me as a frnd & I will keep u in my heart. Lock it up & throw away d key so dat no1 can evr tke u away from me…”
One day, she sent this message to me.

I replied: ‘In life, we seldom find a true prson & f u evr find 1, hold on & nvr let go… value dat prson coz it’s lyf’s gift worth keeping & holdin on…”

I never knew why, but her response sent shivers to my spine, ” Value d people hu hav touched ur life bcoz u will never know just wen dey will walk out of ur lyf & nvr come back again.”

I couldn’t understand what I felt that moment, but one thing I was sure though… I could not go on a day without a single word from her. I’d become used to having her, eventhough we had not met personally. But truly, she already occupied a space, a large one, in fact in my life.

I texted her back. “Dont come close f l8r ull jst pass by; don’t touch me f l8r ull jst let me cry; dont luv me f l8r ull jst leave me and won’t stay…”

I didn’t know why I sent her that message, but somehow I felt, every word came from my heart. In the short span of time we were sending messages to each other, I knew, I was starting to keep her in my heart.

I called her once. The voice on the other end was like an angel’s. Soft, kind, full of love. Yet, there was something in it I couldn’t define. We only talked for a few minutes. Before she hung up, she told me not to call again. According to her, it would be better if we would just text each other.

But the voice kept ringing, not only in my head, but in my heart, I’d long to hear it once more. I tried to call her again, but she never answered the phone. She just kept on sending messages and quotations, which I copied in a little notebook. Hopeless romantic? I didn’t know. All I could say was that all the messages she sent me were wonderful, they came from the heart and cut through the heart.

“Though we r miles apart, u r always n my heart. I close my eyes & der u r. Even f I’ll see u never, I’ll always b hir 2 care 4 u, far longer dan 4ever…”

One December night, she sent me this message. By that time we had been exchanging messages for more than a month. God knew how happy I was. She was right. Although we had not seen each other, what we felt was enough to make us both realize what was keeping us together.

I sent her another message, “Loving u secretly is a hard thing 4 me 2 do,hoping, wondring that u will feel d same way 2, but I can’t read r mind f u luv me 2. But whatever it is, I’ll still be loving u.”

“How I wish I cud really tell u how much u mean 2 me, but m afraid 2 love, scared 2 get hurt… I hope dat u will wait 4 me & pray dat u will not get tired of loving me…=)” was her reply.

And then I replied again. ” The reason y I met u is bcoz of destiny but f destiny will suggest dat I’ll live w/o u, den, I’ll lie not by destiny but of free will.”

Whenever I asked her when we would meet personally, she always answered, “Soon…soon, love…soon.”

Not seeing each other did not lessen, even a bit, what I felt for her…rather, it even grew deeper and stronger each day. And I was sure, she felt the same way, too. Love messages continued to flow through our lines, between our hearts, which made us go on each day with the thought that sooner, we would see each other, face to face, heart to heart.

Just a few days before Christmas. She stopped sending messages. At first I just though she had ran out of prepaid.

But there was something that kept bothering me… I couldn’t understand what was it, but it made me fell nervous. I tried to call her but she wouldn’t answer. Nevertheless, I continued sending messages.

Suddenly one night, just three days before our Lord’s birthday. I heard my phone’s message tone again… at last!It was from her!

“Oftentyms we say gudbye 2 d 1 we luv w/o wanting 2. Though dat doesn’t mean dat we stopped loving dem or we stopped 2 care. Sometyms, GOODBYE is a painful way 2 say I LOVE YOU.”

I was dumfounded. I didn’t know what to think of. What did she mean? I texted her back, searching for answers, but found nothing. I called her but she would not answer.

For the first time in my life, I felt so miserable…desperate… empty. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to lose her. I had learned to love her. And I wanted to be with her forever.

The following days I felt nothing but emptiness. It seemed that Mikaella took the life out of me. I missed her so much…her messages…The tones that would tell me she’d sent another loving message. Nothing around me could feel the emptiness I felt.

Tut…tut…tut…tut…tut…just a day before Christmas, my cell beeped again. It was her!

“Meet me at d café, 10 AM 2day,” I read aloud, making sure the message was true, then I jumped with joy upon hearing from her again. Hurriedly, I got myself ready and I went to the mall. I knew it was still early, but I wanted to be there before she arrived.

I arrived at the meeting place ten minutes earlier. I was surprised to see her already there, smiling at me. She was very beautiful, Black, deep-set eyes that spoke a thousand words; small, kissable lips; a nose perfectly chiseled and long black hair - everything in her was beautiful. And yes, her eyes radiated kindness and love…but there was a flicker of something in them…sadness?

“Hi, Julius,” said the angelic voice I had been dreaming of each night. The voice that I had waited to hear for so long. “Please sit down.” “I am very pleased to meet you, Mikaella,” I said, as I took my seat and gave the roses I brought for her.

“Thanks, Julius,” she smiled, obviously pleased with the roses. I knew she loved pink roses.

“You are always welcome, Love” “Julius, I can’t stay,” she said, sadness in her voice, or was it tears? “I really must go.”

“But we just met, Mikaella. Can’t we talk a little longer?” I asked, pleadingly.

“I can’t really. I just came here to see you and thank you for the time you shared with me. Thank you for everything, Julius. I will never forget you…you will always be here in my heart.”

She was looking at me straight into the eyes, and I could really feel the sadness in her voice and I swear, there was something in her voice and I swear, there was something in those lovely yet lonely eyes…

She got up and smiled at me, lovingly.

“Tomorrow morning, please come and visit me,” he said and gave me a piece of white linen paper.

I read what was written and when I looked up, she was gone. The following day, Christmas, I woke up early and excitedly readied myself,thinking of her. I hurriedly went to flower shop and bought a dozen pink roses - for Mikaella.

They lived in an exclusive subdivision.

Upon reaching their house, I told the guard who I was and that I was looking for Mikaella.

The guard stared at me, sadness and amazement in his eyes and told me to wait as he called the owner of the house. As I looked at him while he was going inside the house, only then I noticed that the house was brightly lit.

A woman went out and walked towards me, smiling sadly.

“Hi, I’m Maria, Mikaella’s mother. Please come inside, Julius.” While we were walking towards the mansion, she explained to me why she knew me very well - Mikaella had always been talking about her friend, Julius. I hardly understood what she was saying. I was busy thinking why Mikaella’s mother was crying while talking to me.

As we came near the great hall of the house, it dawned on me that there was a wake inside, Maybe, a relative passed away, I thought. But deep in my heart, I was trembling and afraid.

As we entered the hall where so many people were silently mourning while others were praying, shaking, I asked her mother. “Where is Mikaella?”

She held my hand and silently, led me to the coffin which was surrounded by flowers - pink roses, nothing but pinkroses.

No words could explain how I felt when I gazed at the coffin and saw who was lying there. The same beautiful girl I met…

A man came beside me, I knew he was Mika’s father.

“We are so glad you came, Julius. Mika talked of you all the time. She even asked that her phone be buried with her.

She said that in that way, you could still send her messages and you would always be with her.”

I couldn’t believe everything… My mind was in limbo.

“But how can this be? We just saw each other yesterday.”

“That can’t possibly be. She passed away three days ago. She had been suffering from a heart disease since she was a child,” said her father.

“But…” I couldn’t find the words to say.

“She told us not to bother reaching you, “her mother said, still in tears,” she said you will come, and here you are.

Pain and bitterness overwhelmed me. I cried silently beside her, staring at her lovely face, memorizing every line of my friend’s face, a face I knew I would never forget while I was still alive.

After the internment that afternoon, I went to the chapel she had
told me she went everyday.

Sitting there praying and crying to God, I held my phone and typed: “U taught me how 2 care; u taught me how 2 b kind; u shwd me how 2 lyk som; u shwd me how 2 luv; but ders 1 thing didnt teach me & it hurts mor - u didnt teach me how 2 let go. I LOVE YOU”

I sent the message, and though I knew she wouldn’t be able to hold her CP again, I knew in my heart she would get my message. I never expected a reply, yet as my phone beeped again,felt a shiver down my spine. The sender’s number did not appear on the screen, and tears rolled down my cheeks as I read the message.

“Let go of d hand of d person u love, but dont let go of God’s hand. 4 if u hold 2 his hand. He may b holding d person u love n d ader hand 2 let u hold each other again.”

“I will never forget you, Mikaella and will never let go…” I vowed to her and to myself as I left the church.

""" i really loved this story""

2009-05-16T04:34:00.001-07:00

The Things I Love About You

I love the way you make me laugh
I love the way you make me cry

Tears of joy stream from my eyes
As I hear your voice, a loving surprise.

I love you when you're angry
I love you when you're sad

I love you when you're glad
When you tell me of the day you had

I love you truly
I love you deeply

Ever since the day
I let you meet me

I missed you when you left
I miss you now more than ever

Making a mistake that I regret
Hoping that you are a forgiver

Without you, my life is strife
But now I ask for a second chance

Be with me and start a life
Together forever, an eternal dance

I wait for you as the days go by
My love is growing inch by inch

I cannot wait to see you again
But I wait for you, and your warm kiss

I love you

your silence..

2009-05-16T04:08:00.000-07:00

I have spoken long enough
I have spoken well enough
Now let me be silent
And see how Silence speaks
Hear the words unspoken
For you could never speak
And whenever I asked you
All I could ever hear, was:
Your Silence
Yes, that very Silence of yours
Which confused all my life out
making me feel miserable
day in and day out
Still I kept holding on,
hoping on and hanging on
If you could ever speak
Yet you never spoke up
Instead, offered me a challenge
A challenge to a broken heart?
A challenge to a defeated soul?
Oh! How Ruthless you could be
And still you ever want me
To keep hearing your silence
And make some meaning of it all
I told you long before
Silence never works for me
I am a woman of wordsâ€¦
It might work well for you
So be it, my Friend
If that is what you call ˜friendship"
Let you be silent
And me be too
And we can still remain ˜friends"
For if you speak
And I speak too
Who knows, One day
I would rather die
A Friend of yours...

2009-05-16T03:54:00.003-07:00

kowtable kowts...

" no one falls in love by choice,
it is by chance, no one falls in love by chance, it is by work,and no one falls out of love by chance, it is by choice."

" distance never separates two hearts that really care, for our memories span the miles and in seconds we are there, but whenever
i start feeling sad because i miss you,i remind myself how lucky i am to have someone special to miss."

" the best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart."

" knowing is better than wondering, waking is better than sleeping, even the biggest failure beat the hell out of never trying, so take chances, because you never know how amazing something can turn out to be."

" it does'nt matter what you mean to the world, but what matters is that you mean the world to me."

" meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, but falling in love with you was completely out of control."

" sometimes we search so much for the right choices, right paths to walk through, right time, right person, but life isn't about searching for things that can be found, it is about letting the unexpected to happen and finding things you never searched for."

" touch my heart and you'll feel, listen to my heart and you'll hear, look into my heart and you'll see that you'll always be a special part of me."

" laugh your heart out, dance in the rain, cherish the moment, and ignore the pain, live, laugh, love, forgive and forget, because life is too short to live with regret."

" love comes in different packages, each has its own meaning, its own story, and its own ending, love makes us giggle, makes us cry, love is sweet and painful but that's how it is."

"happiness is not having what you want, its wanting what you have."

" never blame a mistake,never deny your mistake, face it strong, and you will learn more credits in respect."

" be careful of the choices you make, because some choices, we make in vain, and we can never change them or make it right, we have to live the rest of our lives wondering why? everything you do changes your life in someway, so choose wisely."

" the best things come from nowhere, and have no high expectations, they just happen and no words can explain it, we don't know why or how it happened. all we know is that it happened for a reason, and we need to cherish it and not let slip away."

" if i could give you one gift, i would give you tha ability to to see yourself as i see you, so you could see how truly special you are."

love isn't about sex, pleasure or lust. love is about passion, trust and honesty, it does'nt come cheap. love cannot be bought. love is about the heart and soul."

to be happy, does'nt do whatever you like, instead, like whatever you do. happiness comes not from having too much to live on but having much to live for."

" never grieve about the past, for it does not belong in your memory now. treasure the beautiful things you have and those people around you."

" make-up hides the imperfections upon ones face, unfortunately there is no cover up for the impurities in our hearts."

" when you love, expect first the pain you might handle, rather than expecting happiness, but you're not even sure that you're loving someone who can love you back."

" love can make you blind, yet it can open-up your eyes in so many ways."

" love is like a book, you will never know what will happen to you and your love in the next page, and sometimes you turn to a page full of sadness but once you turn to the last page it may end with something beautiful."

the greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes and yet still sees the best in you."

" the greatest thing in life is finding who knows all of your mistakes and weaknesses, and still finds you completely amazing."

2009-05-16T03:54:00.001-07:00

I Am

I am ...
A woman
With a full heart, hidden
Somewhere in an empty room ...
With eyes not quite of autumn's gold, and yet
Neither all of summer's green;
I wonder ...
If love is a tale made for children --
A granting of sweet dreams in their innocence --
A honey-coating to help their throats
Choke down the bitter draught ...
I hear ...
A voice that whispers warnings, half-formed,
Bodiless as hope, until I swear I cannot draw
Another breath unless this spectre be unmasked,
His lies mangled �neath my righteous tread;
I see ...
A woman, proud, uncompromising,
Diaphanous as air -- less, even, than the tears
That fall in desolation about her weary feet,
Salt poison pooled upon the withered ground ...
I want ...
A measure of quietude, a certain silence,
The echo of alone which heals me of dreaming,
The nothing that stills the wanting,
The numb, the cold that laughs at pain;
I am
A woman,
hidden ...

I pretend ...
That I can live forever -- that Time
Has no puissance but that which I afford Him --
And so, I can wait, I can be happy tomorrow,
Sleep is for the dead; but its ghosts haunt my waking ...
I feel ...
Too much -- too deeply to be directionless,
Too real for imagining, and yet the familiar eyes
Hold nothing of recognition -- only my reflection --
A meeting of shadows in sunlit glass;
I touch ...
The downy wings of hope, in wonder,
In reverence, in need, in hunger;
Alas, it burns my fingers as a flame,
A sacrilege, self-defined ...
I worry ...
That I am alone; that in my longing
I have forsaken all -- but oh, what reward,
What smile divine should light the path to freedom --
And how can I but heed the siren's call?
I cry ...
For having too much, for fear of bursting,
And then, when by the pouring of my soul
I lie, a vessel emptied, I cry again
For what was had, and lost;
I am
A woman,
empty ...

I understand
That life is what you make it,
That sometimes, the coat of many colors
That marks your triumphs brightly, blends only
To loneliest of grey ...
I say
That we are made by life, shaped,
Broken, perhaps -- unmade and voided --
But always, the core of us remains, waiting
With only faith, with trust, to be reborn;
I dream
Of bluest waters, reaching
With unnatural hands toward the faded sky,
Of dolphins that wander in seas without limits,
Carrying me water-breathing past corals and clouds ...
I try ...
To lead by example, knowing
That merely the telling holds no power;
A gift of giving is merely a day, while
A gift of knowing spans forever;
I hope ...
That my darkness holds you gently,
That pain is halved by sharing, that feeling
Wields nothing past the words it summons,
Except that it touch you with only healing ...
I am
A woman,
only.

2009-05-16T03:53:00.001-07:00

Have You Ever

Have you ever felt,
the cold and lifeless hand of an infant,
gazed into their unblinking eyes,
and observed the face of death,
when masked in bittersweet innocence?

Have you ever touched your dreams,
and felt the simplistic joy,
of feeling them become reality,
only to abandon them,
for reasons you cannot explain?

Have you ever watched your family,
who once shared the greatest of loves,
suffer an unforgettable and unforgivable tragedy,
that will slowly, painfully, and inevitably,
tear them all apart?

Do you know, firsthand,
the evil that resides deep within the heart of every man,
every woman, and every child?
Have you seen its face as it randomly seeks,
a soul to torment and destroy?

Do you know the darker side of life,
the one that awakens you,
in the still of the night,
crying to the unknowable God's,
�Save me from myself. '?

Does your heart constantly question,
whether humanity is obtainable,
in a world corrupted with suffering,
and where war,
is the favoured solution for peace?

If you really want to know me,
and understand the forces that compel me to move on,
then take these questions,
and take this pain,
for this who I am.

2009-05-16T03:51:00.000-07:00

New Life

I've been sitting around this life for years,
Not enough laughs and too many tears.
Trying to figure out where it all went,
These wasted years that I have spent.

Searching for something to go beyond,
Life's a stone skipping across a pond.
At the last skip, it hits with a splash,
Down the stone sinks, gone in a flash.

Pushing and pulling, it's tearing apart,
Poking and prodding an underused heart.
This dark velvet curtain that hides my soul,
Living this life has taken it's toll.

In a flash of bright light, the curtain is torn,
Tumbling down all tattered and worn.
Revealing new life, a child within,
Born free of hate, of suffering and sin.

Now my eyes see what has never been told,
Striving forth happy, confident and bold.
Into a world that's unfamiliar but friendly,
Into this new life my spirit will send me.

Living and laughing, loving it all,
I stood myself up and answered the call.
The darkness has gone, replaced by the light,
I gave up the darkness with hardly a fight.

I've been sitting around this life for years,
With laughter aplenty and hardly a tear.
Now I can see just where it all went,
Cherish every moment of this new life I've spent.

2009-05-16T03:50:00.000-07:00

Leaving

On a day like today,
a young lady arrived
at the airport,
with family
and friends.

Her heart was heavy,
and she was sad.
For she knew the time
has come to leave
this Heaven and
return to the
far lonely
world
elsewhere.

Unsettling feeling
in her heart,
a kind of longing
to stay back forever.
A kind of familiar loneliness
that she was acquainted with,
comes to her again.

And she sighed,
wistfully, forlornly,
hoping again hope,
to stay in this limbo
of joy and
belonging
forever.

'Oh no, I'm leaving again',
she murmured,
hot tears threatening
to well in her eyes.

Bravely, she forced
a smile at her
loved ones.
Without much of
a second look,
she bid them
farewell.

In the plane,
the girl sat,
with eyes closed,
reliving those
wonderful
and fond
memories
she left behind,

and those sweet voices
and carefree laughter
that accompanied
every single image
that went fleeting pass.

Unconsciously,
a faint smile ghosted at her mouth.

'I'll see them again soon.
Take care, my loved ones,
I'll be back.'

2009-05-16T03:49:00.001-07:00

Most Beautiful Woman In The World

She has no special talent
No special beauty mark
No invention with a patent
No voice of a comely lark

No hourglass physique
No sunbeam likened smile
No lingering mystique
No manicured nails to file

But what she had she flaunted
With the style of a fur- lined stole
With the chic of a runway model
She flashed her beautiful soul

2009-05-16T03:47:00.002-07:00

Within Me

Scarlet lips as red as a rose,
perfect hips in a seductive pose.
On the outside this is what I may be,
but what about looking at the heart within me.

Long black hair, surrounding my face,
baby blue eyes and full of grace.
This is what most men chase,
but my soul and feeling cannot be erased.

Long, untouched legs with a snug fitting skirt,
a short and sexy tube top shirt,
I take my looks with little pride,
for what I care about is what's inside.

They say that these looks are a sensation,
that I am one of God's best creations,
But all I really want is for you to see,
all the good that is within me

2009-05-16T03:47:00.001-07:00

The Mask..

A mask of plastic happiness often covers her sadness

Her beliefs hidden from most

Afraid of, but willing to face the unknown

Wondering where her place is in this life

She has come close to sharing herself

Never completely revealing anything to anyone

Feelings of invisible chains corner her

When she dreams, reality shatters before her very eyes

Accomplishments she strives for just at hands grasp

She feels lost sometimes, not yet finding her notch in this world
At times the glimmer in her calm eyes slowly disappears

But within her heart a silent flame burns her inside and out

She roams day by day, playing roles

Strength unknowingly resides in her

History repeats itself once again

The translucent veil she so proudly wears

Little by little answers will come, pushing it aside

One day there will be no more mask for her to wear

One day her beliefs will be known

One day she'll know her place in this life

One day she will share herself

ONE DAY this mask will be NO MORE

2009-05-16T03:39:00.003-07:00

to a butterfly

I’ve watched you now a full half-hour,

Self-poised upon that yellow flower;

And, little Butterfly! indeed

I know not if you sleep or feed.

How motionless!—not frozen seas

More motionless! and then

What joy awaits you, when the breeze

Hath found you out among the trees,

And calls you forth again!

This plot of orchard-ground is ours;

My trees they are, my Sister’s flowers;

Here rest your wings when they are weary;

Here lodge as in a sanctuary!

Come often to us, fear no wrong;

Sit near us on the bough!We’ll talk of sunshine and of song,

And summer days, when we were young;

Sweet childish days,

that were as long

As twenty days are now.

2009-05-16T03:39:00.001-07:00

a moment to remember..

A magic moment I remember:

I raised my eyes and you were there.

A fleeting vision, the quintessence

Of all that's beautiful and rare.
I pray to mute despair and anguish

To vain pursuits the world esteems,

Long did I near your soothing accents,

Long did your features haunt my dreams.

Time passed- A rebel storm-blast scattered

The reveries that once were mine

And I forgot your soothing accents,

Your features gracefully divine.

In dark days of enforced retirement

I gazed upon grey skies above

With no ideals to inspire me,

No one to cry for, live for, love.

Then came a moment of renaissance,

I looked up- you again are there,

A fleeting vision, the quintessence

Of all that`s beautiful and rare.

2009-05-16T03:37:00.000-07:00

l 5, 2009

PHENOMENAL WOMAN

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal wo

man,
That's me.
Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

STILL I RISE

2009-05-16T03:34:00.001-07:00

You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.

Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.

Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.

Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.

Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.

You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.

Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame - I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain - I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.

Leaving behind nights of terror and fear - I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear - I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave

I rise

I rise.

your worthy..

2009-05-16T03:30:00.000-07:00

your worthy

Do not undermine your worth by
comparing yourself with others.
It is because we are different that each of us is special.
Do not set your goals by what other people deem important.
Only you know what is best for you.
Do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past nor for the future.
By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life.
Do not give up when you still have something to give.
Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying.
It is a fragile thread that binds us to each other.
Do not be afraid to encounter risks.
It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave.
Do not shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible to find.
The quickest way to receive love is to give love;
The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly;
In addition, the best way to keep love is to give it wings.
Do not dismiss your dreams.
To be without dreams is to be without hope;
To be without hope is to be without purpose.
Do not run through life so fast that you forget not only where you have been, but also where you are going.
Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way...

all me...

2009-02-08T04:32:00.000-08:00

2009-02-08T04:30:00.000-08:00

i am..

2009-02-08T04:28:00.001-08:00

I am
I am strong,Aggressive,Unstoppable,Uncontrollable,Unbeatable,I am,I am what you strive to be, Free, untouched by the limits of
society, That they try to forces you to believe is there,I say things your scared to say,And I do things your scared to do,And for this I am hated,I believe in and embrace true freedom,I believe in and embrace myself,I am not swayed by others who think what they say is set in stone,I stick out from the weak minded, Willing to attempt the un-attempted,Say the unsaid,Do the un done,And defeat the undefeated,I am the master of my own life and space,You will not limit my potential,You will not and can not take away my creativity,You will not control or tame me,You will not stop me,
Because I am,
I am myself…..

you are worthy

2009-02-08T04:26:00.001-08:00

Do not undermine your worth by
comparing yourself with others. It is because we are different that each of us is special. Do not set your goals by what other people deem important. Only you know what is best for you. Do not let your life slip through your fingers by living in the past nor for the future. By living your life one day at a time, you live all the days of your life. Do not give up when you still have something to give. Nothing is really over until the moment you stop trying. It is a fragile thread that binds us to each other. Do not be afraid to encounter risks. It is by taking chances that we learn how to be brave. Do not shut love out of your life by saying it is impossible to find. The quickest way to receive love is to give love; The fastest way to lose love is to hold it too tightly; In addition, the best way to keep love is to give it wings. Do not dismiss your dreams. To be without dreams is to be without hope; To be without hope is to be without purpose. Do not run through life so fast that you forget not only where you have been, but also where you are going. Life is not a race, but a journey to be savored each step of the way...